If I didn't have dogs:
1) I could walk around safely barefoot in the dark;
2) My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated;
3) All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture and cars would be free
of dog hair;
4) When the doorbell rang, it wouldn't sound like the SPCA kennels;
5) When the doorbell rang, I could get to the door without wading
thru four or five dog bodies who beat me there;
6) I could sit how I wanted to on the couch without taking into
consideration where several little furbodies would need to get;
7) I would not have strange presents under my tree ... like dog
bones & stuffed animals, and have to answer to people why I wrap them
up;
8) I would not be on a first name basis with a vet;
9) Most used words in my vocabulary would not be:
potty, outside, sit, down, come, no, and leave him/her ALONE;
10) My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates;
11) My purse would not contain things like poop pick up bags and dog
treats;
12) I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L, T-R-E-A-T-S, O-U-T-S-I-D-E, and F-R-I-S-B-E-E W-A-L-K!!
13) I would not buy weird things to stuff into 'kongs' or have to
explain why I'm buying them, or what a "kong" is;
14) I would not have as many leaves and Pine Straw INSIDE my
house as outside;
15) I would not look strangely at people who think having their ONE dog ties them down too much;
16) I would not have to answer the question why do I have so many
dogs from people who will never have the joy in their life of knowing
they are loved unconditionally by something as close to an angel as
they will ever get. Who else has a friend who considers you the MOST
important thing in the whole wide world all the time?
Additions from Gail Reilly
17) I wouldn't look at the bed every night and wonder if there was any
room for humans.
18) I'd save on sinus/allergy medicine after wearing a 20 pound "dog
hat" on my pillow all night
19) People wouldn't wonder why I keep my trash can on the countertop
and not on the floor
20) The Petco staff wouldn't look incredulous when I reach my free bag
quota so often. (It's based on the number of bags purchased.
21) Nature's Miracle and Simple Solution wouldn't be a staple item in
my pantry.
22) I'd need to state my name when I call my vet -- they know me by
voice alone!
23) I wouldn't have a stylish bedroom replete with soft comforters,
furry baby carriers and dog toys littering the floor.
24) Free of vet and food bills, I'd be driving a fancy car with
hairless upholstery!
25) I could go to work without checking to be sure my lint-roller is
in my purse
26 A ringing phone wouldn't signal an emergency howling session
27) Dinner would be all mine! ("Do I put my head in YOUR bowl?")
28) Unwelcome family members would visit more frequently
29) Certain dogless relatives wouldn't sit on my sofa with huddled
shoulders, hoping to escape the attack of the dog hairs!
30) No one would look for dog hairs in my cooking.
31) People wouldn't wonder what that child's car seat is for
32) The drive-in bank teller wouldn't see so many furry faces and ask
how my pet-sitting business is going (or recoil when I say, "oh,
they're all mine!")
33) The sight of two or three dog leashes wouldn't signal the whole
pack to rush the door for a walk around the block!
34) I wouldn't have a dog roster to check off when I leave the house!
Posted on SHARE Yahoo group Jan 3, 2004