Rude Treatment Toward Potential Adopter

Hi SHARE Folks -
I received this message from someone who had a very bad experience
trying to adopt a cat. She was treated horribly! I've omitted her
name, but otherwise her message is intact. I think this message is
important enough that I'm sending it even to those of you who have
asked to only receive the monthly newsletter. I apologize if this is
a problem for you, and promise it won't happen again unless I feel a
message is truly urgent. I think this one is.
Maureen Koplow

Hi, I read your input from a seminar.
I was especially interested in #7 of the first list on this page:
7. Rewards work. Use positive reinforcement. For example, we ask
people to adopt at the shelter, not buy from pet shops or breeders.
Then we interrogate them as though we suspect them of evil intent or
idiocy when they try to adopt. We ask the public to rescue strays and
bring them to the shelter, then make them feel guilty when they stand
at the counter with a stray. For years, we've been telling people
that millions of animals die each year because there are too many,
and if we spay and neuter, that will solve the problem. Many people
spay and neuter, and we still keep telling them the same story. They
stop listening. We need to praise them for good behavior, not punish
them because others haven't gotten the message. We should change to
a "solutions campaign" - for example, tell the public about 10 good
behaviors that would help animals, and then reward them for
accomplishing each one, with stickers, certificates, etc.

I must tell someone my experience with the ... Cat Adoption at ... . It was an upsetting and demeaning
experience, and follows precisely the scenario you present on your
site. Let me preface this by saying that I have cared for strays and
taken in kittens from unwanting owners for over 12 years now. 2 of
those kittens have remained with me and have been my closest
companions for 10 years. Recently I moved, and although I provided
clear instructions and took every precaution possible, the movers
accidentally let one cat out of the house and I have not found him
since. He was an indoor cat, and from the very beginning has always
had severe behavioral problems with anxiety. I nonetheless found it
endearing and the cat actually was fine when around just me - he
loved me. My vet finally urged me to stop trying to change him and
just let him be alone in the midst of company, changes or events -
that was his way of dealing with his fears. But unfortunately, on
moving day the noise of the movers terrified him and he simply
bolted - as honest as that.

Well, his counterpart kitty (she's also 10 - but a young 10) has
missed him terribly and I am realizing she just will not get used to
being alone - she is a social cat and prefers other animals around
her. She is sweet, playful, caring and behaves more like a dog than a
cat! So, after two months now of the other cat's disappearance, I
decided to try and adopt another kitten to help ease the depression
of my remaining kitty. After weeks of research, I chose to visit
PetSmart to apply to adopt a kitten or cat.

I was treated with absolute disrespect - as the "volunteer director"
proceeded to probe and question me before I could tell her anything
about my situation. As soon as I mentioned that my cat was sad
because she lost her mate, this woman then proceeded to publicly and
loudly imply in front of about 5 other cat-owners (and adoption-
review members) and 10 other potential adopters, that "cats run out
the door for a reason - maybe you were treating him in a way that
would make him WANT to bolt out of the door when he had the chance?".
And "why are you adopting another cat when you haven't even found the
other one yet?" I proceeded to try and explain to her that no matter
what, I continue to look for him and if I find him I'll still keep
all 3 cats - I always have several cats and know how to introduce
them and help them get used to each other and new situations. She
would not even let me speak - she interrupted me and told me "the
adoption review board has many, many applications to consider and
only a few get approved. If you want to apply, go ahead, but we only
give our cats to caring owners - with experience. We'll also be
investigating your background - contacting your vet and possibly even
neighbors to see if you are responsible enough and caring enough of a
person to take on the great responsibilities of owning a cat." With
that, she turned away from me and pulled two of the other cat-owners
aside to whisper about me as I stood there in tears. I quickly ran
out the door and went home and cried.

How can we be treated this way? As I've said, I have owned pets for
years. Two dogs from my early childhood years that both eventually
passed from natural causes; one pure-bred 12-year-old German Shephard
and a 13-year-old tabby that both remain with my family around the
corner still today as family pets; various strays that I took in
myself and eventually gave to good homes with friend that still own
them today, and of course my own two cats that have been with me for
years - one that tragically has run away. In addition, I spent years
volunteering for "Therapy Dogs International", a group that trains
and brings dogs (and now even cats) to hospitals and sick patients in
their homes all over the country. Finally, I even worked for a short
while part-time at an animal hospital.

Now how can I be told I am uncaring and inexperienced? I love my
cats, and I just want the one that still remains with me to have
company again - she wants to play. I have now had to resort to
calling every pet store imaginable to ask if they have kittens. They
all tell me "NO", the Luv-A-Pet Adoption Program pretty much runs
everything in this county now, so we can't carry any kittens or
puppies.

I called two shelters and it's all the same - they send their kittens to ... . I am at a loss here and am absolutely beside myself
that I've been treated so poorly and am probably one of the most
loving and best owners any cat could ever have. I wish my kitty could
speak - she's very, very happy with me - as I am with her.

Anyway, I just thought it was important to bring this issue to light
and I would hope that you will continue to report on problems such as
this. I honestly think that some of these volunteers have become a
bit "power-hungry" in some way, and in turn they drive some of the
best potential adopters away and make them stop wanting to help
altogether.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
Sad cat-owner from NJ

Posted on SHARE Yahoo group Mar 17, 2002