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Their First 'Baby' Was a Dog; How Will It Handle the Real Deal?
PAGE ONE
Their First 'Baby' Was a Dog;
How Will It Handle the Real Deal?
By RACHEL ZIMMERMAN
June 2, 2008; Page A1
Wall Street Journal
While pregnant with her first child, Meridith Duffy cried nearly every
day -- to her dog trainer.
She feared she'd have to part with her pit bull, Haley, when her child
was born. Haley "had never bitten anyone," says Ms. Duffy, who lives
in Braintree, Mass. "But I knew she had that potential, and I was nervous."
The trainer had a solution: a program to get Haley used to having a
baby around. Soon, Ms. Duffy was walking through the house with a
stroller, playing a CD of annoying baby cries, and tugging the dog's
ears and tail the way a toddler might. Haley also got many hours
of obedience classes. "We had to learn that she was a dog, not a
person," Ms. Duffy says. "That was hard for us."
Jenifer Vickery of The Pawsitive Dog helps new parents train their dogs
to behave safely and comfortably around new infants. Dave Pickford
reports.
The Duffys, whose baby, Isabella, arrived 19 months ago, are part of
a new breed of parents-to-be who pay to baby-proof their dogs. At
least a half-dozen dog-baby books and DVDs are on the market, with
titles like "Your Baby and Bowser." A canine re-education course
called Dogs & Storks, launched in 2006, now has 35 affiliated trainers
in the U.S. and Canada, with hundreds of graduates.
"It's catching on because people are choosing to have kids later, and
their dogs are really their first baby," says the course's creator, Jennifer
Shryock of Cary, N.C., who sells it to trainers for $300.
Dogs bite about 4.7 million people a year in the U.S., the majority of
them children, according to the American Veterinary Medical Association.
Bonnie Beaver, a Texas vet and past president of the group, says that
of the 15 to 20 people a year who die from dog bites, about 80% are
children.
Would you pay to baby-proof your dog? Read Wendy Bounds's latest
post and share your thoughts.
Ms. Shryock tells expectant parents, "When the baby comes, you are
going to look at your dog for the first time as an animal. You will feel
different about Fluffy."
That came as a shock to Tracy Fuquay, of Raleigh, N.C. For six years,
her Shih-poo, Marcy, was the family princess: She traveled in a purse,
dressed in colorful sweaters, sundresses or a denim jacket with heart
sequins. When Ms. Fuquay graduated from the Raleigh School of Nurse
Anesthesia in August 2006, Marcy wore a cap and gown.
In the eighth month of her pregnancy, Ms. Fuquay finally started
saying no to Marcy. The dog was no longer allowed to ride in Ms.
Fuquay's lap as she drove, and was banned from her bed. The result:
"Marcy became racked with anxiety."
Things got worse after baby Leah's birth in December. Marcy now
often cowers, and she urinates on the rugs. "I'm cleaning as much
dog pee as I am changing diapers," the new mom says. "My husband
is ready to give the dog away, but I can't."
She paid Ms. Shryock $160 for a two-hour house call. The result
was a sobering assessment: "Because Marcy was used to being treated
as 'the baby' for years, she will have a more difficult time and longer
adjustment time to learn that she is not the only one needing attention."
Christopher Reggio, a publisher of pet-care books, says demand for
prenatal dog prep is rising because "dogs today are real family
members. They aren't 'owned' by people, they're 'parented' by people."
His TFH Publications Inc. in Neptune, N.J., last year released "And Baby
Makes Four: A Trimester-by-Trimester Guide to a Baby-Friendly Dog."
Natalie Rivkin is in the final days of her third trimester. But in her
mind she's already been a mom for nearly six years -- to Luca, her
chocolate Lab. "My schedule is built around her. When she's sick, I
worry," says the high-school math teacher in Boston.
The Fake Baby
One recent day, Luca watched as Ms. Rivkin reached into her sport-
utility vehicle, gently lifted a plastic doll in a blue "onesie" from the
infant car seat and buckled it into a new stroller, then began pushing
the stroller and doll through a local arboretum.
"Hey, that's not a real baby," yelled a passing runner. It was hard to
know what Luca thought; she was busy nibbling grass.
Ms. Rivkin was doing her homework for Barks & Babies, a seminar
taught to 10 couples at a local maternity store. Her instructor, Jenifer
Vickery, owner of the Pawsitive Dog in Boston, suggests practicing
with a fake baby four weeks before mom's due date. Other prebirth
strategies: ignoring the dog more, and scenting dog toys with
almond oil to distinguish them from baby toys.
Like older siblings, dogs can act out when stressed by a change like
a new baby, trainers say. Barking, biting and soiling the house can
all happen if dogs get less attention and exercise, feeling sidelined.
"It's harder to be a dog today," says Sue Sternberg of Accord, N.Y.,
a trainer and specialist in testing dogs' temperaments.
Not necessarily, though, for Phoebe and Zack, two large members of
the Joe and Joelle Coretti household in Milford, Conn. Phoebe is an
85-pound golden retriever, and Zack, a German shepherd, weighs in
at 120 pounds. "I was nervous about how big they were and how
they might think the baby was a toy to play with," Ms. Coretti says.
"But I was also nervous -- since they were our first babies -- that
they might have some issues with the new baby. I wanted the dogs
to feel they were still part of the family."
Ms. Coretti went to a Dogs & Storks Seminar and picked up some
training tips. After she gave birth last year, her husband brought
home the baby's T-shirt and cap for the dogs to sniff. Baby Kyle,
age 1, now plays with the giant dogs, "who," Ms. Coretti adds, "still
sleep in our bed."
Lynda Vanderhoven of Boston practiced relegating Bailey, her yellow
Labrador puppy, to his "doggie den" in the house so she would be
able to attend to her new son, Sam, when necessary. One difference
between her two "babies," she says, is that the dog "can be legally
locked in a crate."
Feeling Guilty
By the time Susie Flaherty gave birth in 2006, her pit bull and
Labrador mix, Rudy, had completed dozens of private and group
classes. But it was hard for her and her husband to impose limits
on Rudy, who'd been abused as a puppy. "He was our first child,
and he was such a loving dog," she says. "Our need for the love
and comfort he provided...made us inconsistent -- when we needed
it, we had him up on the couch with us."
Shortly after her son, Angus, was born, Ms. Flaherty, a personal
trainer in South Boston, couldn't cope. Unable to cuddle Rudy while
breast-feeding around the clock, "I felt horribly guilty," she says.
She gave the dog to her childless brother in San Francisco. Rudy
recently got a Facebook page so he can keep in touch.
As for Meridith Duffy and her husband, Keith, a marketing
executive, they continue to send Haley, their female pit bull, to
anger-management class. It seems to have worked.
"People think you're crazy to have a pit bull in the first place," Mr.
Duffy says. "But now the dog lies down and the baby pokes her
in the eye and pulls her ears, and she just takes it." A second
Duffy baby is due June 7.
Write to Rachel Zimmerman at rachel.zimmerman@wsj.com
Posted on SHARE Yahoo group - 6/2/08