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Ways to help kids better understand their feelings - When a Pet Dies
When a Pet Dies...
....it's one of the worst feelings in the world.
The only bad thing about having a pet is that most pets
don't live as long as humans do. A pet may die from old
age, or a pet may die from an illness or injury.
Sometimes a pet becomes so sick and is in so much pain
that the family will choose to have the pet euthanized.
This means a veterinarian will give an injection that stops
the pet's heart, brain and body functions from working,
and the animal dies. There is no pain or suffering when a
pet is euthanized. If your pet is going to be euthanized,
you should think about whether you want to be with him
or her. Your pet will feel comforted if you are there.
If your pet has just died, you may feel pretty yucky for
awhile. It is normal to feel any or all of the following ways:
Very, very sad, lonely and empty inside.
Sometimes you may hear the sound of your pet calling
you, or think you see your pet out of the corner of your
eye, even though you know it couldn't be true. This
doesn't mean you're crazy. It just means that your brain
needs a little more time to get used to your pet being gone.
You may feel angry that your friend's pet is still alive, when
your pet has died. It seems unfair.
You might worry that your pet has died because you think
you did not take care of your pet in the right way.
You may be wondering what happens to pets after they die.
Do they go to Heaven? Will you ever see your pet again?
You might want a new dog or cat right away, but then you
think that getting another pet would be disloyal to your pet
who died.
You might think some people will laugh at you because you
loved your pet so much.
During the really rough times, there are some things that
you can do to feel better:
It is good to do something special after your pet dies, like draw
a picture of him or write a letter to him or her. If you have the
ashes of your pet, you can keep them in a special place.
Sometimes it can help to have a memorial service, where
you, your family and friends who loved your pet get together
and remember the great things about your pet. If you have
a backyard, you can plant a tree or flowers in your pet's
honor. Your parents can help you plan this.
It might make you feel better to keep something that your
pet really loved—like a favorite blanket or favorite toy.
Whenever you look at it, you'll think of your pet.
Gather up photographs of your pet, and make a special photo
album. If you want, you can arrange it chronologically, by
starting with pictures of when your pet was a baby. You can
also include information about your pet's favorite toys, treats
and things to do.
Talk, talk, talk! Sitting down with your family and sharing
memories of your pet can make you sad—but it can make
you laugh, too, when you think of all funny things your pet
did.
Keep busy. You may not feel like doing much of anything,
but it can help to do some of the things you always do—like
going to practice or rehearsal after school, or going for a
bike ride.
Read a book. There are some really good books out there
about losing a pet, like these listed here. You can check them
out of your library or find them at a bookstore.
1. Desser the Best Ever Cat by Maggie Smith, Alfred A. Knopf,
Inc., 2001, Ages: 4-8 Available from the ASPCA Online Store
2. Goodbye Mousie by Robie H. Harris, Simon & Schuster
Children's Publishing, 2001, Ages: 4-8 Available from the
ASPCA Online Store
3. Grunt by Suzanne Schlossberg, Tamberrino, Centering
Corporation, 2001, Ages: 8-12 Available from the ASPCA
Online Store
4. Jasper's Day by Marjorie Blain Parker, Kids Can Press Ltd.,
2002, Ages: 5 and up Available from the ASPCA Online Store
More Pet Loss Books for Children at the ASPCA Online Store...
What can you do when a good friend's pet has died?
Tell her that you're sorry, and that you're available to listen
if she needs to talk. She may not feel like it at first, so you
may have to be patient.
There are other ways to show you care about your friend.
"When my friend's cat died, I felt so bad for her," Meg C.
from Maine told us. "I sent her a card and a special cat-
shaped box. She really liked it." Don't worry if you can't
get your pal a present—giving her a card that you made
yourself will show your concern, too.
Posted on SHARE Yahoo group - Jan. 7, 2009